Some catching up to do...

What the? Where has the time gone? I can't believe the last post I made about Lailah was almost 4 months ago. She is utterly the most precious thing in my life, and I can't brag about her enough - so why it has taken me so long, I don't know. It could have something to do with not having the time I suppose. But this year I resolve to make more time; for all things that bring me joy. So here's an update:

L is for Lovely. Lovely is this precocious little being that teaches me more in one day than I have learned in my lifetime.
A is for Amiable. Amiable is this child who infects people with her smile from sun up to sun down.
I is for Incendiary. She has lit a fire inside my heart that burns brighter everyday.
L is for little; but growing so quickly.
A is for azure - blue as the sky are those eyes that take in everything in sight with keen awareness.
H is for heartstrings - of which she pulls at with every smile, laugh, and cry.

She is learning so many new things. She loves to walk; with assistance of course. She has a fondness for pulling the hair out of our cats, both of which allow her. She babbles and says dadada and mamama and if you didn't hear her the first time she will make sure you hear her the second time. She observes everything and notices when something, small as it may be, is missing or added. She finds fish mesmerizing. She LOVES to be outside even when its too cold for everyone else. She has just acquired two very sharp bottom teeth. She still doesn't sleep, but we love her anyway. She loves car rides, and I often catch her staring out the window with a look of wonder on her face. She gives the best hugs and the slobbery-ist of kisses. She laughs when I dance for her, and in turn makes me want to dance more. And well...she just makes life better. She gives it purpose and inspires me to make more of it. She helps to give me courage when I am scared, a smile when I am sad, hope when I am hopeless and confidence when I am unsure. She makes me want to be a better person. She is so much more than I could ever express in words; She is everything.

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Having a child has completely changed my perspective on my life and where it is going. I am constantly telling Lailah to pursue her goals, dreams and aspirations, yet, I am not setting an example for her – I’m not exactly practicing what I preach.

I have been dealing with some internal struggles lately; I know that there is something that I WANT to do; something that I NEED to do, but I can’t settle on what that one thing is - and I am scared to death of not just sticking with what I am already doing. Change is a frightening thing. My goals have always been more of a “I’d like to do this” or “I’d like to do that” and it’s always been “someday.” But we all know someday never comes and fear is one of life’s greatest hindrances. "Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear for the future."

My hope for this year – my goal for this year, is to find something that I can be proud of – and that allows me to spend more time with Lailah. To be successful by account of my own actions, on my own time, to make a bigger impact and to be more proud of who I am and what I have achieved – to be able to set that better example for Lailah by way of doing.

Here’s a toast to the New Year, the next year and five years from now, when we can look back and tell of our successes, our failures, our new aspirations, and everything else in between.

I went through the motion of creating a Christmas/New Years Card, however, I failed miserably at actually sending it out. So, to all you Blogger peeps...here's to hoping that your Christmas was delightful and your New Year is full of wonder and joy...

Small Clouds in a Big Sky...

Last night's sunset was painted in hues unobtainable by man, and, if humanly possible, I could have kicked myself in the face for not having my camera with me! So as per the norm I set out this morning for work while it was still dark - but with pink undertones, the sky was giving glimpses of what might be in store, so I turned around and went back to get my camera. By the time I got to work I had seen quite the display, here are a few pics; thus the reason I should always carry my camera.

While the lens cannot replicate the true beauty of it, it can at least be an aid to the coffers of my memory of the amazing things I witness each day, so easily taken for granted.

Love in the palm of his hands...

Our little Lailah is 4 months old now and growing like a weed. She never ceases to make me laugh...or make me tired. I wish I could say she is sleeping through the night at this point...but I've yet to have that luxury. Thankfully she has two Grandmothers who love her enough to take her on occasion to help me catch up.

I feel like a zombie most of the time, but I really wouldn't trade her for anything! She has discovered her laugh and there for a day she was blowing raspberries - not sure what happened, but I think she may have forgotten how...I am sure it wont be long before she discovers it again. =) She loves to stand and she is liking tummy time much more than several weeks ago. I'm not so sure she is going to ever crawl...it may be that she takes straight to walking; I suppose only time will tell. And I could be taking a stab in the dark here, but I'm pretty sure she is on a quest to stick her entire fist in her mouth; her hand has become a near permanent fixture to her mouth.

Just as I try to teach her something new every day, she is always teaching me something new, whether it be something about her, something about myself, or, just something about life in general. She really seems to have a better grasp on 'what it's all about' than I do. Curious are the thoughts that run through my head about what she will do and the person she will become. While it's sad to see her growing out of clothes and getting so big, I look forward to seeing her develop and become her own person.

I should have taken a picture like this when she was smaller, but I think it turned out okay...thanks to Lynnie for the idea. =)

Love in the palm of his hands

The many faces of my little Lailah...

My little lamb has got some serious personality! 11 weeks old tomorrow!!!

Pretty girl...

I finally got Lailah to cooperate long enough to get pictures of her in one of the beautiful gowns her Grandma Lynnie made her. She looks precious. =)

One month old...

Can't believe it's already been a month. I love this little gal. =)

...and I love the way the flash made me look like I have fantastic skin. Bonus! =)