Tuesday, April 20, 2010

So many thoughts...

As our baby girl rolls around in my belly I can't help but thinking about the day of her arrival...and how nervous and anxious it makes me. I've gotten back to feeling the exhaustion of pregnancy like I am back in the first trimester, and while I try to get some rest and she lets me know shes there, I start to think about how quickly she will be here...and I freak out...a little bit. Oh who am I kidding...a Lot-a bit. Hormones have been going ridiculous lately, and while it's making things a little hard, I can't help but be thankful I haven't had to deal with it the entire pregnancy. All in all, considering the amazing form of life taking place inside of me, it hasn't been so bad.

As I sit here, hot and tired and emotional and thinking of all the things I should get up and do; (Andy's at a softball game), I can't help but think of a gazillion other things; this pregnant journey, how soon she will be here, what delivery will be like, how my life will forever be changed, the paranoia of having a child in this somewhat scary world, and on the contrary all the beautiful things this life has to offer, if I will be a good mom, and on and on. For crying out loud, I've never even really changed a diaper. I find myself getting overwhelming anxiety about a lot of things.

But the one thing that I don't have anxiety about, is how great a Daddy this little girl is going to have. As her arrival gets closer and Andy's pats to my belly get more frequent, I become more and more thankful that I met such an amazing person. I am so thankful for this life and the direction it is headed. I love my husband, I love this little baby, I love my life. From the early days of dating, to marriage, to having a little one on the way, I'm left speechless, and ready to open this new chapter in life. Andy, I love you.







4 comments:

  1. Hey baby mama...you have nothing to worry about as far as what type of mom you'll be. You will be amazing!She is going to be one lucky little chica!:)
    I love you...

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  2. There is no doubt that little girl is going to be loved to pieces; she is so lucky to be coming into this world to such awesome parents. And don't worry, you will get plenty of practice changing diapers!
    Kamryn was looking at your pictures with me and when we got to your wedding photo she said, "mom look, a princess!" That was such a beautiful day, and you did look like a princess :)

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  3. I bought you and Andy two books on 'baby raising' last night...:) I realized just what you wrote, you've never really been around babies! But I know without a doubt you will be amazing parents!! You have such love for each other, and for her, and that's the most important thing - truly! So, along with being the amazing couple you two are, you will now have a couple of 'manuals' to help you welcome your sweet baby girl into your lives.

    Andrea...that is so dang cute! She did, huh?!

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  4. Michelle, you and Andy put so much grace and love, and your true selves, into everything you do - believe me - this beautiful soul you're going to nurture has been blessed from the moment she chose you for parents :) It's really that simple - love (which you both have in abundance) - and the rest is just details!
    It's an on-the-job, learn-as-you-go, oh-hell-what-do-I-do-now, experience/experiment? So if you think of yourself as your Mom's first experience, and Andy as my first experience - don't know about you, but I think you both turned out quite well - (and like a funny card I saw somewhere, all those times dropping you both on your heads didn't do too much damage, did it? You're still alive!) I'm sure your Mom and I were full of the exact same doubts and fears, joys and excitement, as you have! You're going to love this journey, and you'll learn as much as you teach, and it will go so fast you'll be us one day watching your baby start her own new journey, with tears in YOUR eyes! Love you both.

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