Sunday, December 25, 2011

Hey Where ya' been?

Truth is, I’m not sure I have an answer to that question. The past month or so is all a blur and I can’t seem to recall moments or dates of importance. My mind has been in a proverbial fog; this time of year seems to have that effect. I don’t fancy hot chocolate and yuletide by the fireside, rather I loathe frosted fingertips, iced over windshields, and watching my breath vaporize and float away. Trapped in a bowl of smog and blanketed by clouds of gray, consumed with the constant dread of having to do anything that requires the remote possibility of a shiver.

I’ve been really tired…a lot, and wishing for a little bit of that energy that Lailah exudes to become a contagion to my body. Even over the past 2 weeks, as she has been sick with croup and an ear infection, and dealt with a bad reaction to Amoxycillin she’s managed to show her spritely spirit and remain upbeat in most instances. I envy her panache.

I feel like a failure at something most times of the day – stuck in this constant web of feeling like things are just not complete – loose ends left untied, whether it be a clean house, something I meant to say, the need to go grocery shopping, cook more often, make holiday treats, organize things, listen to a song, create something, read a book, breathe.

Friday’s with Lailah have been hit and miss since my last post, and I’m hoping to get back into the habit of taking them off to be with her once the New Year has started. On those days in particular she reminds me to look through a small viewfinder, and not be so consumed with the greater picture, for the greater picture can often be nothing but overwhelming.

Oh, and speaking of the New Year, yah, I’ve got some lofty goals. Ok ‘Lofty’ - Maybe that’s an inappropriate attitude to have, especially this early in the game…lest we rather call them ‘completely achievable and not time consuming nor difficult in the slightest goals’. Forget about losing weight – if it happens great, it needs to, but I’m not going to beat myself up about it…that ship has sailed. Instead, this year, I vow to be a saver, spend wisely, successfully pay off debt and get us into a house. I’ve armed myself with a debt calendar and I vow to write down every dollar spent and saved; to make better choices about purchases and make this goal a reality.

And more personally and much more complicated, I’ve made it a goal to be less obtuse – to show more excitement, harbor a more positive attitude, and more or less, just roll with the flow. (The tone of this post hardly emanates any of those qualities, but hey, cut me some slack – it’s not the New Year yet.) I find myself to be socially inept and I internally criticize many of my idiosyncrasies – spending way too much time recalling things I may have said to someone throughout the day and worrying about what they think of me. Funny considering I am constantly telling Lailah to never let anyone get in the way of letting her be her, to always love who she is, and never question the person she becomes. I suppose if I am to tell her these things, I am to demonstrate them also.

I hope that anyone reading this post had a very Merry Christmas and has the Happiest of New Year’s. And may your 2012 prove to be the best of all your years thus far.

Now for some photos. I haven’t been very organized and on top of photos lately, so this is sort of the smorgasbord of things that have happened over the past month or so.

These pics were taken a couple of weeks ago on a relatively decent day. It was cold, but not too bad, just warm enough to let Lailah roam around across the street at the Catholic Church. She can't stand not having her outside time - it makes this time of year challenging.

Lailah loves to see the lights at Grandma and Grandpa Kawahara's house. She choo-choo's at the train and tries to hug the Raindeer.

The past couple weeks has consisted of lots of Pajama time and just taking it easy. Lailah has been sick with Croup and and an Ear Infection, of which she was taking Amoxycillin. And as you will see from the next pics taken on Christmas Day, Amoxycillin is not her friend...

Christmas Day, and day 3 of a bad reaction to Amoxycillin. It has broken my heart to see her in this condition and not been able to do anything about it. My babies poor little face is so puffy and red - yet, she exuded pure joy Christmas morning. She loved her presents and had a great morning.

This pic was taken a couple of weeks ago. I could hear her playing in her room, so I peaked in there to catch her sitting in her wagon being cute as a button.

Lailah has a thing for hats. Even in the midst of not feeling well last week, she managed to shoot me this cute little smile, while wearing one of her many hats.

It's hard to believe that 2011 is very  near an end. I look forward to another year of updates...mostly of Lailah. =)

Friday, November 18, 2011

Friday's with Lailah Episodes 15, 16 & 17

Friday's with Lailah Episode 15 - Art Dye Park
It's really nice to be so close to a great secluded park for Lailah to explore - lots of dirt and rocks, and STICKS! She really loves it there. So we headed out 2 Friday's ago. I figured we would try and get as much outside time in as possible before the cold weather hit.

Non-Friday with Lailah Episode 16 - 11-11-11 One Day on Earth Video Project
Last Friday I took part in a project called One Day on Earth. I headed out to Black Rock at the Great Salt Lake and shot my first time lapse. I got there at 5:30 AM and left at 11:00 AM. The video is a compilation of 2,427 images - one taken every 4 seconds. I learned a lot during the process and also have much to still learn after the process. The video starts out with the moon setting. It was very dark, but due to the camera settings it looks quite bright in the video. Throughout the video I moved around a bit, ultimately ending up quite close to where I had started. It was an interesting experience and something I am glad as I was a part of. Looking forward to 12-12-12. And to top it off, my awesome brother prepared the soundtrack.

A mostly non-Friday with Lailah Episode 17
I am trying to earn a little bit more money for the Holiday's therefore I will be working a few Fridays over the course of the next few weeks, so this Friday I had to take photos of a couple of finished projects for work. I headed out to Magna early in the day, stopped at the office to print an RFP, headed back home to take Lailah to the doctor (not a fun visit at all, but all seems to be okay), and then headed back out to Murray to take more pictures in the early afternoon. I traveled over 120 miles, had to listen to my little Lailah cry her little eyes out, had a small nervous meltdown thereafter, and needless to say, I am so glad that the week is over, I am welcoming the weekend with open arms - turning the alarms off was the most elating moment of my day. Now I only hope that tonight Lailah sleeps better than last night, I am exhausted. Looking forward to next Friday, the day after Turkey Day and a paid Holiday, woo hoo. Even though today was a whirlwind, I am so thankful for what I have.

Thursday, November 3, 2011


Halloween has already come and gone - the year is nearing an end, and I can't believe how quickly the months have gone by.

This year I knew I couldn't put Lailah in any costume that required a lot of facepaint or anything to be on her head, so I thought about it and what could be a more perfect fit for her personality than a rainbow hued clown - but not a creepy clown -  a Lailah clown. So I made her a rainbow tutu, found her some rainbow leggings, got her some Rainbow suspenders, and as simple as that we had ourselves a costume - and It couldn't have meshed better with her bright personality; I think it worked out pretty well.

She wasn't much for trick-or-treating. I took her to my work and she was more interested in exploring nooks and cranny's that any other person walking through the building would never look twice at. She didn't really care about getting candy in her bucket, and she didn't even really pay much attention to the little people swimming around her. She's such an independent little creature with a mind of her own - and I really love that about her. She reminds me of Ferdinand the Bull.

Back to get the cup...

So, if you see my last post "Friday's with Lailah - Episode 14", you will see Lailah had a little blue cup. A little blue cup that to her is not just a cup, but a treasure, a 'cup, cup, cup' that holds a special place in her precious little heart. When we arrived home, I realized we no longer had our little blue cup, so I made a plan to go back the next morning and get it. 

So Saturday morning when all of us had just got out of bed, we bundled up and headed out to the frigid forests of American Fork canyon to locate the missing blue cup. I was worried someone would have come across it and it would be gone forever. But NO, as luck would have it, that little blue cup stood silently waiting to be back in the hands of its devoted little owner. It was encased in frost and Lailah was delighted to have it back.

It was about 20 degrees and our cheeks and hands were quickly nipped with the cold crisp air, so we didn't stay long. It was a fun early morning adventure.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Friday's with Lailah - Episode 14

Last Friday with Lailah we went up American Fork Canyon just a little ways past Tibble Fork to a little turn off to do some rock huntin' and explorin'. Lailah was sitting in her car seat and when I opened her door she said "woooow". When I got her out of the car she really said "woooow". She was in heaven! We went up the trail a ways, and Lailah dug in the dirt and checked things out. She saw a little girl about her size and made a quiet friend - that kind of friendship little kids make without saying anything to each other. Sort of like a wink and a nod. But Lailah's favorite part of our adventure was probably when she got to sit down on the creek bank with a giant stick in one hand and a rock in the other - dipping her stick in and out of the water, over and over. It was a good Friday.

Pumpkin Time!

Andy did a really good job at making a nice pumpkin patch for Lailah this year. Instead of doing it in our little garden he did it at his Grandmas house where there was plenty of room, and we had quite the turn out. Big ones, little ones, all kinds, even a few HUGE ones. Every week or so as they were growing we would take Lailah over to see their progress. She was pretty stoked when harvest day came. She thought it was pretty amazing to see Dada and Grandpa picking them and putting them into the back of the truck. She has been excited over the past month to have them on the porch and in the backyard, she pats them and hugs them, and sits on them - they are good buddies. She says pump most of the time, but every so often we get something closer to pumpkin. She's pretty much capable of saying anything that's only one syllable except for love - I just can't get her to say love ya. I think she knows how, she's just yankin' my chain.

Weekend at Palisades with Grandma and Grampa H‏

Oh man, am I behind on my blog posts! There have been a lot of goings on over the past few weeks, but I haven't gotten around to posting about them. I am working on it.

A few weekends ago Grandma and Grandpa H were 'camping' (if that's what you call it when you have a luxury motor-home) at Palisades. Andy had to head to Ogden and Salt Lake City for some Pinstriping projects, so Lailah and I made the trek down to see them. And oh boy, if that wasn't right what the little one needed. Water, Rocks, Grasshoppers, Dirt, Leaves, Ducks, a Playground, AND Grandma and Grandpa. The kid was in hog heaven - nevermind she had refused to take a nap that day, including on the long drive down there. (For a few days she thought it was a good idea to give up naps...little did she know it was so NOT a good idea. I am glad that she gave up on that one - we are back on nap schedule.)

Back to the task at hand - she had lots of fun. Grandpa gave her the best stroller ride of her life. Blasting from 0 to like 13 MPH in a nanosecond - twisting and turning, and making zooming noises, her little hands grasping the tray and smiles lit upon both their faces. Let's just say, any stroller ride she has had since then has been disappointing by way of excitement; I don't think anybody can do it quite like Grandpa Frank. 

The rest of our time there was spent checking out the water, playing with all the little twigs and mounds of leaves, discovering new things, some playground time and just being part of nature - Lailah's life force. And I don't say that lightly. My child is not having a good day if she doesn't get to spend at least a half hour outside. Last night she was so cranky because it had been cold all day and she hadn't gotten what she would consider to be an adequate amount of time outdoors. So I asked her "Lailah, why are you so cranky? Do you want to go outside?" "Side" she Said, "Side, Side. Mama Side" - well okay then. So we put on her puffy coat, some socks and shoes, and with one step out the door everything was all better in her world. She took off with her unique self-assured independence, and everything in the world was suddenly right. She stuck her hands in the cold mud, she patted then sat in the rain puddle laiden with dying leaves, she trogged through the grass, she said "moon" with her little finger pointed skyward to the crescent shaped oddity; crankiness eliminated. She was in her happy place. 

Rain or shine, cold or hot, Lailah is one with Nature. Kind of interesting considering [this post] and [this post] i had made before she was even born. After about 30 minutes, with rosey cheeks and chilled hands it was time to go inside for a bath. She said "bye bye", waved and blew her goodnight kiss to the outdoors - finally ready to settle inside for the evening. 

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Indian Corn

A few weekends ago we took Lailah over to her Great Aunt and Uncle's house to pick some Indian Corn. She was so stoked to explore new terrain and check out all the cool colors the corn had to offer. She said hello to the horses, ate a couple of tomatoes, and found her first love, an oddball of a pumpkin, different from all the rest. Sticking out like a sore thumb this little pumpkin was white with orange stripes, calling out to Lailah above all the rest. She kneeled down and gave that ol' pumpkin a kiss and hug - it was love if I ever did see it.