Monday, October 8, 2012

A mother never runs away

You can’t run away from being a mom - even when it means having your hair pulled and being told “I don’t like you”, or having books thrown in your face, or trying to hold on to a screaming wet noodle of a child in the bathtub to keep them from hurting themselves, or being smacked in the face by a tiny hand and told “you can’t cry” when you have lost all patience and know of nothing other to do than break down.

That was my Sunday. It started off all right, and then went to shit at the speed of Mach 10. At the end of the day I could do nothing else than think to myself, where did I go wrong, what am I not doing right, where is she learning this behavior? Certainly it must be my fault that there is such a large storm brewing in such a small teacup.

The fact of the matter is – it could have everything to do with anything. There will never be an answer to the almighty question of “why is my two year old acting like a demon?” - It could have something to do with the copious amounts of sugar she was provided even when I said no, a growth spurt, a misfiring synapses, a tooth, or it could just be that she is hell bent on sending me into to the loony bin, but I like to think not.

It was a rough day to the say the least, and touch and go today, everything makes me want to cry; seeing her made me want to cry, saying goodbye to her made me want to cry, writing this makes me want to cry, the thought of having to put on my thinking cap and work makes me want to cry, everything is making me want to run away…but alas, a mother never runs away. I’ll just hope for a better day and take whatever - come what may.

1 comment:

  1. You are the best mommy I have EVER known.,I hope and pray you had a better day today, my sweet girl! I promise, it gets easier. Two's are a challenge. (You were, and I prolly thought it was my fault too.) Love and kisses. Yo Momma